Disclaimer

Some of you may read this story and ask, "Where is Dana?"

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Dan, Casey, and Jeremy are leaving the set. It's just after midnight, and the end of their busy day.

Casey: Come on, Jeremy.

Jeremy: I'll meet you there.

Dan: There will be singing.

Casey: And dancing.

Jeremy: I said I needed to take care of something, first.

Casey: There will be drinking.

Dan: Giant glasses of blue stuff with umbrellas and other thingies sticking out of them.

Jeremy: (sarcastically) You make it sound so appealing. How can I resist?

Casey: You will be there won't you?

Jeremy: The sooner I finish this, the better.

Dan: Natalie's coming.

Jeremy: Yeah.

Casey: She'll be there, without you.

Dan: No dance partner. She'll be at the bar alone.

The trio enter the newsroom.

Jeremy: First of all, I'm not a very good dancer. Second, Natalie can have fun without me.

Casey: She'll have more fun with you there.

Jeremy: I'll be there in a little bit, as soon as-

Dan: It can wait.

Jeremy: No, it can't. Listen to me. I am speaking in English, and I know from your communication backgrounds, you two have a penchant for the English language and its understanding--

Casey: Yes, we are hooked on phonics.

Jeremy: But my prior commitment tells me I need to finish this. That is why I call them priorities. They take precedent over everything else, and at this moment, it will take away from some of the inebriated, fun, zany times you two had planned.

Jeremy tries going toward his desk, but Dan gently grabs his shoulders and turns him around. Dan puts his arm around Jeremy's shoulders and neck.

Casey: We're just looking out for you.

Dan: We want you to have a good time.

Jeremy: I will.

Casey: You will?

Jeremy: As soon as I finish this.

Casey: Jeremy.

Jeremy: Priorities. I have certain priorities and commitments that need to be kept. I've neglected this priority for the past month, and now it's time I rededicated myself to fulfilling that promise.

Jeremy tries to pull away, but Dan pulls him back.

Dan: You promise?

Jeremy: I promise.

Dan: You promise to finish your priority and come join us later?

Jeremy: I promise-

Casey: Hold up your right hand.

Jeremy holds up his right hand as if he were taking an oath.

Jeremy: I promise-

Dan: And do you promise to have fun and bring back your body's zaniness and fun levels back to normal?

Jeremy: (rolls his eyes) I promise to be a party animal.

Casey: Thatta' boy!

Dan releases Jeremy and the two anchors head toward the elevator. Jeremy heads toward his desk. Dan and Casey enter the elevator, and as the door closes, one last comment is made.

Dan: Remember you promised, you party animal.

Jeremy: (to himself) I promise.

In the empty newsroom, Jeremy takes a seat at his desk. He opens a drawer and digs through it. He pulls out a box and places it on the front of his desk. He lifts the top off the box and pulls out a nice ink pen, an envelope, and several sheets of paper. He begins to write a letter.

We hear Jeremy's words come to life.

Dear Louise,

I apologize to you for neglecting you for so long. The past five weeks have been hectic here at CSC, as you already knew. Our Summer Game coverage had us working extra hours, and unfortunately sacrifices in our lives had to be made. Sadly, our correspondence was one of those sacrifices, but now, all is well because the Games in Sydney are now a part of history.

We've gone thirty-four straight days without rain, and the above average temperatures have created some short-lived crisis here at Sports Night...

We see Casey repetitiously banging a book on the snack table outside the conference room. BANG! BANG! BANG! He hits a different spot with each strike. Natalie walks up and aims a canister at the table. She sprays a chemical on the table, all over the food, and a little bit on Casey.

Casey starts to cough and wave his arms in the air.

Casey: Kill them, not me! (coughs some more)

Natalie: You okay, Casey? (sprays the table again)

Casey: (takes a step back) I think I'll be fine.

Dan walks up from behind as Natalie continues to spray on and around the table.

Dan: Everything under control here?

Casey: Yeah. Want a bite to eat?

Dan: Uh, no thanks.

Jeremy joins the group.

Dan: How could ants get to the forty-ninth floor of this building?

Jeremy: They're looking for water.

Dan: Well, they found the pastries, muffins, and danishes, while the water fountain is ten feet away!

Natalie continues to spray the insecticide.

Jeremy: We need to open some windows and get some ventilation going on in here. (walks away)

Natalie: Die, you little bastards! Die!

The can stops releasing its spray, indicating it's empty. Natalie turns the can over, gets on her hands and knees, and starts banging the can on the floor, trying to kill more ants.

Dan: I've never seen pest control do that.

Natalie: At least you could help. (to Casey) Give me your book.

Casey hands Natalie his book.

Natalie: Dan, hold still.

Dan: Wh-

Before Dan could get another word out, Natalie takes a big swing with the book and nails Dan on the outside of his left leg.

Dan: OOOWWW!!!! What did you do that for?! (starts to limp away)

Natalie: They're on your pants.

Dan: What?!

As Casey begins to howl with laughter, Dan looks down and notices a large number of ants on his slacks. He decides to strip down right there. He unbuckles his belt and unbuttons his pants.

Casey: What are you doing?

Dan: There are ants all over my pants!

Dan unzips his slacks and they drop down to his shins, exposing the light blue boxers he is wearing. As he starts to step out of his pants, JoAnne comes around the corner and spots Dan in front of her.

JoAnne: This is some welcome, Dan.

Dan finally notices JoAnne, grabs Natalie's book, and tries to cover himself with his arms and the book.

Dan: Jo! Hi! Gotta' run!

Dan then turns and runs off in the direction of his office, leaving his pants behind on the floor. Natalie grabs the empty canister of insecticide and begins to nail the ants on Dan's slacks.

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We get to witness another incident.

Isaac walks to the outside of Dan and Casey's office. His sleeves on his button-down shirt are rolled up, his tie and jacket are back in his office, and the top two buttons are unbuttoned on his shirt.

Isaac: Any word, yet?

Dan: Nope, none.

Dan leans back in his chair revealing he is wearing a Knicks replica jersey, shorts, and high-top tennis shoes.

Casey: The hottest day of the year, and the air conditioning goes out.

Casey is wearing a gray tank top with blue shorts and tennis shoes.

Isaac: When will those fans get here?

Casey: Elliott, Chris, and Will still are rounding them up.

Natalie walks into their office, looking very perky and lovely in her sun dress.

Natalie: Hey guys. Dan, Casey- I need to ask you something.

Casey: Shoot.

Natalie: What time's tip off?

Casey: For what?

Natalie: Looks like you two are ready to play.

Dan: Well, we are very comfortable.

Jeremy walks into their office, carrying a boxed fan.

Jeremy: Got your fan guys. Hey Isaac. Hey Nat-

Upon noticing Natalie, Jeremy drops the box.

Dan: Hey, don't bust it!

Jeremy bends over to pick it up, never taking his eyes of Natalie.

Jeremy: Yeah. Dan. Yeah.

Natalie: (smiling and swaying from side-to-side) Thank you.

Jeremy: No, thank you.

Isaac: I'm leaving.

Isaac leaves as Jeremy holds onto the fan. Casey gets up from his desk, walks over, and takes the fan from Jeremy.

Casey: Thanks, Jeremy.

Jeremy: Yeah.

Natalie: Casey, don't forget about your interview with Tommy Lasorda.

Casey sets up the fan next to their open window.

Casey: I won't.

Natalie: Jeremy, have you heard when they will have it fixed?

Jeremy stands in silence, staring at Natalie, and his jaw dropping slightly.

Natalie: Jeremy?

Dan: He's saying you look so-so today, Natalie.

Jeremy: Huh?

Natalie: Never mind. Run-down's still at 6 guys- air or no air conditioning. See you there. (leaves the office)

Jeremy: I'll be there early.

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Back to Jeremy's letter to Louise:

There's a cold front moving through tomorrow, and they are predicting rain, but I don't believe it will rain here. With the stagnant air here recently, the pollution has built up and smoggy days have been prevalent over the past couple of weeks. That smog has created a heat dome over New York and whatever moisture comes in our direction gets sucked up and obliterated by the heat dome. They've received some rain up state, but we've remained dry here.

Jeremy sets his pen down, leans back in his chair, and gazes a moment out the window. He opens his drawer and pulls out an apple. He goes to take a bite from his apple, but he stops. He throws the apple directly into the trash. He grabs a can of insecticide and quickly sprays the trash can and the inside of his drawer.