Disclaimer

-----

Casey is sitting in his HBO office. Quinn Gibson, his director, is walking around the office. Quinn is in his mid-thirties with a shaved head, a goatee, and a pair of black-rimmed glasses.

Quinn Gibson: I figure we'll do some location shots, probably about a half a dozen. Once we get everybody lined up and straightened out, we can start fanning out across the country.

Casey: We need to get this done soon.

Quinn Gibson: Alexis should have everything together by the end of the day.

Casey: Okay.

A couple of "beeps" are heard through Casey's telephone. Then a voice resonates from the phone.

"Mr. McCall? Alexis is here to see you."

Quinn Gibson: Speak of the devil.

Casey pushes a button on his telephone.

Casey: Thanks, Janice. Send her in. And one more thing.

"Yes, Mr. McCall?"

Casey: Call me, Casey. "Mr. McCall" sounds like something reserved for my father.

"Yes, sir."

Casey: And the same thing goes for "sir."

"Whatever you wish."

Casey: Thanks.

The door opens and Alexis May, Casey's producer, walks in. She's a tall, long-legged blonde, whose clothes accent her slim figure, but she walks with confidence and an air of complete control.

Alexis: I've got several interviews set up for you, Casey. We're still negotiating with one other person.

Casey: That's good. Who's the one with which we were still negotiating?

Alexis: The most important person.

Casey: We've got everybody lined up except him? He knows our very first show is going to be about him, right?

Alexis: Yes, he is aware of that. I'll get him for you, Casey. Don't worry.

Casey: We can't do a show about somebody and not be able to interview that particular person.

Alexis: Don't worry about it, Casey.

Casey: We're pushing the deadline, Alexis.

Alexis: Casey? I'm doing everything short of selling my own body to get him to do an exclusive interview with us. I'll get him.

Casey looks at Alexis.

Casey: Okay.

-----

Dana is running down a corridor.

Dana: We've got him!

Dana goes to the end of the corridor, and runs through the studio.

Dana: We've got him!

Dana sees Chris and Will.

Dana: Guys? I'll give you three guesses on the person we have an exclusive interview with.

Will: I think I can guess.

Chris: We only get three?

Dana: Hammerin' Hank!

Dana leaves Chris and Will behind as she runs out of the studio.

Chris: But I wanted to guess!

Will shrugs his shoulders as Chris and Will walk toward the control room.

-----

Isaac is sitting at his desk and doing paperwork.

Dana opens the door and closes it behind her. She leans against the back of the door.

Dana: Guess what?

Isaac: You won the lottery.

Dana: Better.

Isaac: What could be better than that?

Dana: This.

Isaac: What is it?

Dana: We got something nobody else will have.

Isaac: I'm sure you're going to tell me.

Dana rushes over and sits in front of Isaac's desk.

Isaac: Well?

Dana: Ask me.

Isaac: Okay.

Dana can hardly control herself. Isaac finally gives in.

Isaac: We got him?

Dana: Yes!

Isaac: We got Hammerin' Hank?

Dana jumps from her chair.

Dana: Not only did we get him, but we got him for Sunday night.

Isaac: The highest average show.

Dana: And that's not the best part. We've got him for fifteen- count 'em one five- fifteen minutes.

Isaac: Fifteen minutes straight?

Dana: We've got eight minutes, then a commercial break, and then seven more minutes. Eight plus seven is fifteen. We've got Hammerin' Hank for fifteen minutes!

Isaac: Great job, Dana.

Dana: It is so unbelievable. This is going to be a huge ratings boost.

Isaac: You know what I'm thinking?

Dana: That this is not a dream?

Isaac: I'm thinking about the ratings.

Dana: We might win the night.

Isaac: We might very well.

Dana: We have a very light sports schedule for a Sunday, but we've got the wild card!

Isaac: Hammerin' Hank?

Dana: Exactly. Deuces are wild, and guess what? We've got the same suit for a 10, a jack, a queen, a king, and a deuce. And you know what that deuce is?

Isaac: A wild card.

Dana: Yes! And that wild card has become our ace!

Isaac: Great.

A look of worry comes across Dana's face.

Dana: Wait... we've got to prepare. I've got to let Natalie know... I've got to let Dan know... he's doing the interview... we've only got a few days to prepare.

Isaac: I'm sure we'll do a fine job.

Dana: I've got to make sure everything is perfect.

Dana runs out of Isaac's office. She leaves the door open and she can be heard running down the hallway. Dana is then heard running back to Isaac's office. She peeks inside the office.

Dana: I'll keep you posted.

Isaac: Great. Don't forget to tell Sam.

Dana: I'll go tell him right now.

Isaac: Great. And Dana?

Dana: Yeah?

Isaac: Congratulations.

Dana smiles.

-----

Dan is sitting at his desk. He leans over and barely opens a drawer. He peeks inside and tries to see if anything is going to happen. Once he's satisfied, he pulls the drawer open.

Natalie: I've got-

A startled Dan pulls the drawer out completely, and it falls to the floor.

Natalie: Did I scare you?

Dan: No.

Natalie: Do you regularly dump out the contents of your desk onto the floor?

Dan: Sometimes. When I feel like it.

Natalie: Anyway, I've got the pieces cut for the Bruins and Flyers. Dana asked me to trim a few seconds from each.

Dan: Okay.

Dan leans over, starts picking up everything on the floor, and places it back in his drawer.

Natalie: It was like five seconds from each.

Dan: Okay, I'll condense what I had written.

Natalie leaves the office as Dan finishes putting everything back.

Dan gets up and chases Natalie down inside the newsroom.

Dan: Natalie? Natalie? Wait up.

Natalie stops in the middle of the newsroom.

Natalie: What's up?

Dan: I just wanted to say that it was an unfortunate incident, and I'm truly sorry.

Natalie and Dan begin walking.

Natalie: It was a monumental show, Daniel.

Dan: I know it was. It was our 2,000th show.

Natalie: 2,000 shows. That's almost five-and-a-half years' worth of shows.

Dan: I'm sorry.

Natalie: The cake was huge Dan.

Dan: I know.

Natalie: But who was the hog who had to have two pieces? Who was the hog who had to eat the last piece of cake signifying this monumental moment?

Natalie grabs a tape from the library.

Dan: I specifically asked everybody if anyone wanted the last piece. No one spoke up, so I helped myself.

Natalie: Did you ask me if I had a piece?

Dan: No.

Natalie: Then you didn't ask everybody.

The two continue walking.

Dan: What can I do to make it up to you?

Natalie: Accept the consequences of your actions.

The two stop at Jeremy's desk. Jeremy is working on his computer.

Jeremy: Castro's MRI was negative. He's questionable for the next game.

Natalie: Thanks.

Dan: Jeremy? Tell, Natalie I'm sorry.

Jeremy: Why?

Dan: Because I am.

Jeremy: For what?

Dan: Never mind.

Dan, Natalie, and Jeremy see Dana run into the newsroom.

Dana: Guess what?!

Natalie: We got him.

Dana: Yes, we did!

Dan: Wonderful.

Dana: Dan, you've got fifteen minutes with him, so you'll need to do a lot of preparation.

Dan: All right.

Dana: Jeremy, dig up every statistic you can find on Hammerin' Hank.

Jeremy: I'll find everything you could dream of. Would you like for me to include his dental history?

Dana: If they come with x-ray negatives, then yes.

Natalie: I'll come with you, Dana.

Dana: Natalie, come with me. We need to strategize inside my office.

Dana starts jogging toward her office as Natalie slowly follows behind.

Once Natalie disappears down the corridor, Jeremy begins typing on his computer. Dan sits on the edge of his desk.

Dan: Jeremy, Jeremy, Jeremy.

Jeremy: I don't like the sound of that.

Dan: Jeremy?

Jeremy: And now the questioning begins.

Jeremy stops typing.

Dan: What's this I hear about you corroborating with Natalie?

Jeremy: I had no prior knowledge of her intentions.

Dan: Where did she get the stuff?

Jeremy: From me.

Dan: Then I consider you to be a participant.

Jeremy: Dan? Natalie told me she was getting some fish. She said she needed some methellane blue for her fish tank.

Dan: But Natalie doesn't have fish.

Jeremy: I knew she didn't have fish before. I assumed she was starting a new hobby. I am very much a victim in this, just as you are.

Dan: Did you pee blue?

Jeremy: No, but I didn't eat the tainted chocolate cake she made, either.

Dan: I see.

Jeremy: So, I'm off the hook?

Dan: Not exactly.

Jeremy: I'm not helping you play a prank on Natalie.

Dan: It's just a little one.

Jeremy: I don't want to know. I don't want to be involved. I hereby declare that I am officially recusing myself from this situation. I ask that no information be passed on to me.

Jeremy gets up from his desk.

Dan: You're scared.

Jeremy: Of you, no. Of Natalie, yes.

Dan: What could happen?

Jeremy: I could die.

Dan: Outside of that.

Jeremy: I could be near death.

Jeremy starts to walk away.

Dan: Come on, Jeremy.

Jeremy: No.

Jeremy is at the edge of the newsroom.

Dan: Chicken!

Jeremy: Well, cock-a-doodle-doo, Dan.

Jeremy exits the newsroom.

-----

Dana and Casey are walking down a sidewalk.

Casey: So what's the big news?

Dana: You remember that big interview I was hoping to land?

Casey: Your "mystery" interview.

Dana: Yes.

Casey: You got him.

Dana: Yes!

Casey: Who are you interviewing?

Dana: Hammerin' Hank! Isn't that great?!

Casey looks serious as he stops walking.

Dana: Come on, Casey. Isn't that great?

Casey: When?

Dana stops walking and goes back to Casey.

Dana: This Sunday. We've got an exclusive. He doesn't do interviews, but we've got him for- now get this- fifteen minutes. Fifteen whole minutes! That's a lifetime on live television! We are going to win the night, beat ESPN, beat Fox, and leave them in the dust!

Casey: Hold on there.

Dana: What? Aren't you excited for me?

Casey: My first program was going to be about Hammerin' Hank.

Dana: That's all right. I won't have a problem releasing excerpts from our interview. You'll have to go through CSC, but you can use-

Casey: No. I was told that I was going to get to interview him.

Dana: What?

Casey: I got him.

Dana: You what?!

Casey: Actually, I don't have him. Alexis was working on getting him.

Dana: Who's Alexis?

Casey: My producer.

Dana: Does she know about the agreement we reached with Hank?

Casey: I suppose not.

Dana: We have an exclusive. CSC has an exclusive.

Casey: Like I said, I didn't know.

Dana: Well, you've got to let her know.

Casey: I will.

Dana: Casey, we've got an exclusive.

Casey: Okay. You got to him first. I'll let her know.

-----

"Five minutes. First team to the studio."

Natalie is carrying her clipboard as she walks behind the studio set. Dan's head peeks around a wall.

Dan: You!

Natalie: Yes, Dan?

Dan: You did this!

Natalie: What did I do, Danny?

Dan: This!

Dan comes out from behind the wall. He dress shirt is unbuttoned and tight around his chest. He sleeves end halfway down his forearm. His pants are tight around his legs and he can't even button them. The pants are open and revealing his blue boxers.

Dan: You shrank my clothes!

Natalie: No, I didn't.

Natalie starts to walk away.

Dan: Don't you walk away from me.

Dan hobbles and looks very stiff as he follows Natalie.

Natalie: It looks like someone has put on some weight.

Dan: What am I supposed to wear?

Natalie: Maybe if you had cut back on your consumption of cake, you might be able to fit into those.

Dan: You couldn't fit into these!

Natalie: I didn't get a piece of cake there, fatty.

Dan: These are too small!

Natalie: I would suggest running in place to help burn off a few of those extra calories, but I bet you'd end up ripping your clothes apart there, fatty.

Natalie and Dan walk onto the studio set.

Dan: It was an accident!

Everyone in the studio stops and looks at Dan. Dan points toward Natalie.

Dan: She shrunk my clothes!

Dana: (over intercom) Danny? It looks like we might need to use the wide-lens on you tonight.

Dan: Ha-ha. Laugh it up every one of you. But I will tell you this. I shall prevail! I shall-

As Dan raises his arm up, his sleeve rips at the armpit. Everyone starts laughing.

Dan: Fine. I'm going to make me an outfit from newspaper.

Dan storms off the set.

Dana: (over intercom) Wardrobe? Could you grab Danny some clothes which fit? Thanks.

-----

Dan is seen on a monitor inside the control room. He is doing the broadcast, and wearing a suit and tie which fit properly.

Dan: (on-air) And we go live to Connie Morton at the Rupp Arena with a recap of Kentucky's impressive win earlier this evening. Connie.

Connie appears on the monitor.

Dave: Back in two minutes.

Chris and Will control the video and audio highlights as Connie continues to do her report.

Isaac walks into the control room and stands next to Dana.

Isaac: You're going to need to see me after the show.

Dana: About?

Isaac: There's been a change in plans.

Dana: For what?

Isaac looks at Dana.

Dana: No.

Isaac shrugs his shoulders.

Isaac: We'll talk about it after the show.

Dana: Okay.

Isaac gives Dana a pat on the back. He leaves the control room.

Dana shakes her head and then holds it in her hands.

Dana: I need a few minutes.

Natalie: What's wrong?

Dana: Nothing. Take the wheel for a few minutes. I need to step out.

Natalie: Is it about Hammerin' Hank?

Dana takes off her headset.

Dana: Take the wheel. I'll be back.

Natalie looks concerned as Dana leaves the control room.

-----

Sam Donovan, CSC's ratings consultant; Donna Kendrick, a CSC executive; and Isaac are in Isaac's office.

Donna: It doesn't look good. It just smells of conspiracy.

Dana opens the door and steps inside.

Dana: Could someone please explain to me what is going on?

Dana is taken aback once she realizes Sam and Donna are in the room.

Dana: Isaac?

Isaac: Your show is still on.

Dana: Natalie's got the wheel. Let's do this now.

Isaac: Okay. Have a seat, Dana.

Dana quietly takes a seat.

Isaac: Dana, before anyone says anything else, I just want to say you did an excellent job of securing the rights for this interview.

Dana: Okay. Thank you.

Donna: The network received a phone call earlier this evening.

Dana: From who?

Donna: The agent representing Hammerin' Hank.

Dana: Did they back out of the interview?

Sam: As a matter of speaking, yes.

Dana: Why?

Sam: We were informed that they received a better offer. One with a little more exposure.

Donna: There's a new show on HBO, set to debut in a little over a week. Dana, I think you are familiar with the host.

Isaac: Casey got him?

Sam: Casey got him.

Isaac: How?

Dana: I don't know.

Donna: Anyway, we are aware of your relationship with Mr. McCall.

Dana: Casey's my boyfriend, but I specifically told him-

Donna: Did Casey have prior knowledge of this network trying to secure this interview?

Dana: N... no. Of course not. No knowledge, whatsoever.

Donna: We're you aware that his network was planning on doing an hour-long feature on Hank?

Dana: They were in the planning stages, and he said that they never received approval to do an interview with him.

Donna: So he told you about what they were doing, but you never felt it was necessary to tell him to stop his planned feature?

Dana: No, no. I told him that he probably could get the rights to use some of the footage from our interview. Isaac? I worked really hard on this.

Isaac: I know you did.

Sam: So you did tell Casey?

Dana: Earlier today. After we had finalized everything. Isaac, what's going on?

Isaac: They haven't informed me, Dana.

Sam: We've spent a lot of money promoting this interview. We've even run spots- even some commercial spots during your broadcasts.

Donna: We are suspicious because of they reversed their decision, and because of the affiliation between you and the other network.

Dana: He's just my boyfriend.

Donna: We feel that a change must be implemented.

Dana holds her breath as she awaits their statement.