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Dan is standing next to Wilhelmina, as the crew is getting ready to shoot.

Jeremy: Sports Night commercial, take four.

Dan: Hi, I'm Dan Rydell, and I'm here to tell you that "Sports Night" is no bull. We'll get right to the stories that matter to you.

Wilhelmina begins shaking her head.

Dan: Scores, highlights, and up-to-the-minute statistics will be-

Moooo.

Jeremy: Cut.

Dan: I don't know if I can do this.

Jeremy: It's okay, Dan.

Dan: It's obvious this cow has no on-camera experience. Cows can't take direction. They do what they want to do.

Jeremy: Let's shoot it again.

Brittany: I don't think Wilhelmina is comfortable with you, Dan.

Dan: The feeling's mutual.

Brittany: Maybe if you put your hand on her and started petting her.

Dan: You want me to pet her like she's a dog? On her head?

Brittany: She also likes to have her nose rubbed.

Dan: I'll pet her on the head.

Jeremy: Okay, let's do this. Sports Night commercial, take five.

Dan: Hi, I'm Dan Rydell, and I'm here to tell you that "Sports Night" is no bull.

Dan puts his hand on Wilhelmina, and she jerks away. Dan jumps back.

Jeremy: Cut.

Dan: I'm not going to create a stampede here.

Brittany: She's not used to you, Dan.

Dan: What am I supposed to do?

Brittany: Talk to her.

Dan: I'm not-

Jeremy: Tick-tock, Dan.

Dan: Fine.

Dan walks over to Wilhelmina.

Dan: Hi. I know we've just met, but I was hoping you could stand still for just one minute. One minute, and then we can go our separate ways. Sounds like a good idea? I thought so. I think we're ready over here.

Jeremy: Sports Night commercial, take six.

Dan: Hi, I'm Dan-

Mooooooo.

Dan: Stupid!

Jeremy: Don't yell at her.

Dan: Fine. How much longer?

Jeremy: Until we get it right.

Dan: We haven't been able to get ten seconds through the scene.

Jeremy: We'll get it, Dan.

Dan: Whatever.

Dan stands back in position.

Jeremy: Sports Night commercial, take seven.

Dan: Hi. I'm Dan Rydell, and this is Wilhelmina.

Wilhelmina starts walking away. Dan throws his arms in disbelief.

Jeremy: Cut.

-----

Natalie walks into Isaac's office. Isaac is watching some tape on one of his monitors.

Natalie: Isaac?

Isaac: Yes, Natalie.

Natalie: I need to talk about something.

Isaac: Okay. First, let me say you guys did a tremendous job with the show last night.

Natalie: Thanks. I kissed Jeremy.

Isaac: Excuse me?

Natalie: Or he kissed me. I don't quite remember. I do remember us locking lips.

Isaac: Why are you telling me this?

Natalie: I think I'm finding myself with some resolved feelings for Jeremy. In fact, I don't think I have completely gotten over him. It's like when your favorite team-

Isaac: Natalie.

Natalie: Yo?

Isaac: Does Jeremy still have feelings for you?

Natalie: I'm not sure. We were kissing and Dan caught us, and we really haven't spoken about it ever since. I think I was in a vulnerable state at that moment. I was embarrassed over the play, we were in the coat room-

Isaac: We don't have a coat room.

Natalie: It was at the theater after the premiere of the play. I ran off into the coat room and Jeremy followed. He decided to try and comfort me.

Isaac: And what about your current boyfriend?

Natalie: Michael?

Isaac: Yes.

Natalie: I'll dump him if Jeremy wants to get back together with me.

Isaac shakes his head.

Natalie: I still think Michael is going to be a brilliant writer. He just tries a little too hard at times.

Isaac: I would think dedicating a play to you would be trying too hard.

Natalie: Yeah, especially a lousy play.

Isaac: How would you feel if he met another woman, and he was waiting to dump you so he could date her?

Natalie: I would be angry.

Isaac: Right. If you want to break up with Michael, go ahead and do it. Don't do it because you want to be with Jeremy. Break up because you don't see a future between you and Michael.

Natalie: He kissed me, Isaac.

Isaac: I know.

Natalie: Doesn't that mean something?

Isaac: Talk it over with Jeremy.

Natalie: Right.

Natalie leaves the office.

Isaac: I should have been a gardener.

-----

The crew is still filming in the park.

Jeremy: Sports Night commercial, take eighteen.

Dan: I'm Dan Rydell here with Wilhelmina, the big brown cow. We're here to talk to you about "Sports Night"-

Brittany: Cut.

Jeremy: I say 'cut.'

Brittany: He's ad-libbing.

Dan: Ad-libbing is what I do for a living. Besides, I think Wilhelmina is getting used to me.

Moo.

Dan: See?

Wilhelmina walks and pushes Dan aside.

Dan: Maybe not.

Jeremy: We've only got a few hours of daylight left.

Dan: Let's get the bovine diva over here.

Dan starts walking toward the cow.

Jeremy: Dan! Watch-

Dan steps, slips, and falls to the ground.

Jeremy: -out.

Dan: What the hell?!

Dan jumps up, and the crew begins laughing at him.

Dan: That's it!

Jeremy: We'll get you in a new pair of clothes.

Dan starts storming away from the shoot. Jeremy follows.

Jeremy: Come on, Danny.

Dan stops.

Dan: Look at me! I've been shoved around, rudely interrupted, and now I've fallen in... THIS! I'm going back to the studio!

-----

Jeremy and Dan are driving back. Dan fiddles with his seat belt while Jeremy drives.

Dan: I don't want to talk about it.

Jeremy: The commercial will turn out well.

Dan: I said I don't want to talk about it.

Jeremy: Dan-

Dan: If we're going to talk about this, we're going to talk about you and Natalie.

Jeremy: Okay, you first.

Dan: We're going to go in chronological order. You first.

Jeremy: There's nothing to say about me and Natalie. She was upset and I was there to comfort her. We got a little too close and we kissed. I made an err in judgment.

Dan: You're not interested in dating Natalie?

Jeremy: I lost control of my senses for a brief moment. I plead temporary insanity.

Dan: You didn't tell Natalie that, did you?

Jeremy: We haven't spoken much since that night.

Dan: Does Natalie think the kiss meant something?

Jeremy: It meant that I still care for her, no matter what.

Dan: Does she think it means more than that?

Jeremy: I don't know.

Jeremy drops his head.

Dan: Eyes on the road, mister!

Jeremy jerks his head back up.

Jeremy: Sorry. I really hope Natalie reads more into the kiss than it really was.

Dan: You mean doesn't read.

Jeremy: That's what I said.

Dan: You said that you really hope Natalie reads more-

Jeremy: And I know what I meant.

Dan: Okay.

Jeremy: Let's talk about the commercial.

Dan: I don't want to talk about it.

-----

Sally walks into Isaac's office.

Sally: Good evening, Isaac.

Isaac: Sit down.

Isaac gets up from his desk and walks to his window. Sally looks concerned as she takes a seat.

Isaac: Did you actually think this wouldn't get back to me?

Sally: What are you talking about?

Isaac: Your posturing for Dana's position.

Sally: I just want it to be known what kind of work I do.

Isaac: Here's your work: you go behind my back and go above me to speak with Donna. You discuss the show's notes without my knowledge or my permission. What's even worse is the fact that you go behind Dana's back while she is bedridden. What you did is despicable. If you had any ounce of concern for Dana's welfare, you would have unselfishly given your time to help her instead of using the time to try and position yourself for a job which you will never get.

Sally: Isaac, I understand you are upset right now-

Isaac: Oh, I'm way beyond upset, Sally. I was upset when Donna Kendrick came to me questioning my own judgment on one of my shows. I went beyond upset when Sam came to me earlier today.

Sally: Are... are you going to fire me?

Isaac: No.

Sally: Thank you.

Isaac: Oh, don't thank me. If it was my call, you would have been out of here. I don't appreciate people infecting my staff with their selfish actions. We work as a team, and I don't tolerate those who think they can manipulate others into doing their bidding. You work hard and you do a good job with your show, Sally. You need to remember that your greed and motivation for doing what you are doing may end up costing you your career.

Sally: Isaac, I don't mean to be insulting... but it isn't your decision if I stay or go. I've brought the "West Coast Update" the respect it deserves- maybe not with you or with Sam- but there are certainly others who are paying attention. If the network wishes to put me in a better position, then I'm not going to stop them. If they wish to go against your wishes, I'm not going to stop them. If they wish to discriminate against Dana because she's going to be a mother and I'm a 100-percent career-oriented woman... I will certainly not stop them. This conversation, or shall I say scolding, is over.

Isaac: Get out.

Sally walks out of Isaac's office.

-----

Dan and Jeremy watch the edited commercial.

On the monitor, Dan is standing next to Wilhelmina.

Dan: I'm Dan Rydell, and I'm here to tell you that "Sports Night" is no bull.

There is a shot of Wilhelmina mooing.

Wilhelmina begins shaking her head.

Dan: We'll get right to the stories that matter to you.

A shot Wilhelmina pushing Dan aside.

A shot of Dan standing next to the cow.

Dan: Stupid!

A shot of Dan falling after stepping on a "cow patty."

Dan: We'll have scores, highlights, and up-to-the-minute statistics.

A shot of the cow trying to kick Dan.

Dan: Did you see that?! She tried to kick me!

A shot of Dan petting the cow.

Dan: So join me every night at 11 P.M. Eastern for "Sports Night."

"Sponsored in part by the Wisconsin Dairy Farmer Association. No animals were injured in the filming of this commercial."

Jeremy stops the tape.

Jeremy: It's not that bad.

Dan: I'm going to be receiving a ton of hate mail.

-----

Inside the control room, the crew prepares the next show.

A taped introduction by Bobbi is playing through the monitors.

At the anchor desk, Alyson finishes up on Bobbi and leaves the set.

Bobbi: How did the commercial turn out?

Dan: I don't want to talk about it.

Bobbi: It wasn't that bad, was it?

Dan glares at Bobbi.

Bobbi: Maybe it could have been.

Inside the control room, Isaac enters. As he makes his way through the room, he shakes Elliott's hand and gives Jeremy a pat on the back. Kim reaches up and gives Isaac a rub on his arm. Natalie hands Isaac a lollipop, and he places it inside his suit pocket as he watches everybody from the back of the control room.

Natalie: Whatcha' doing, Isaac?

Isaac: I'm going to watch my show.

Natalie: Welcome aboard.

Isaac: I have no idea on what to get Dana.

Jeremy: I've installed a T1 line so she can have lightning-speed access to everything.

Elliott: We're chipping in for the baby shower. We're going to handle all the food and preparation.

Natalie: Dan and Casey have put together the baby crib.

Isaac: Did you get her anything, Natalie?

Natalie leans back to Isaac.

Natalie: Last week, I decided to put a smile on her face. I made a voodoo doll of Sally, and put a pin in its back. I think it worked.

Isaac smiles as Natalie moves back to her position.

Dave: In 5, 4, 3, 2...

Dan: (on-air) Good evening. From New York City, I'm Dan Rydell sitting alongside Bobbi Bernstein. We'll have those stories, plus ...



Sports Night