A Mountain of a Molehill

Written by:
Jim Hamilton

Lyrics from:
"Zippity Do Dah"
written by Joel Chandler Harris

Estimated Run Time:



Dan walks outside of the studio while still wearing a winter jacket. He has a skip in his step as he enters the newsroom.

Dan: Zippity-do-dah, zippity-eh. My oh my, what a wonderful day. Plenty of sunshine... got-my-tickets-today... zippity-do-dah, zippity-eh.

Natalie notices Dan singing to himself, so she grabs a pile off her desk which consists of an information packet, several folders, various notes, and a couple of video tapes, and she heads toward him. The two meet in the center of the room.

Natalie: You're in a fine mood today.

Dan: A fine mood? Why, I am better than fine. And do you want to know why I am better than fine?

Natalie: Fine.

Dan: Guess what I got in the mail.

Natalie: A letter saying that you could become the next millionaire?

Dan: Nope.

Dan reaches inside his coat pocket and whips out two tickets.

Dan: Two tickets to the post-fight party.

Natalie: Cool.

Dan: Cool? This is better than cool. This is way better than cool.

Natalie: I know.

Dan and Natalie spot Jeremy sitting at his desk.

Dan: Zippity-do-dah, Jeremy.

Jeremy: Hey, Dan.

Dan: Guess what I got today.

Jeremy: Two tickets to the post-fight party?

Dan: Two tickets to the post fight party. News spreads quickly around here.

Jeremy: I've been sitting here the whole time.

Dan: Anyway, there are a very limited number of tickets to this event; and I have two of them.

Jeremy: Who are you going to take to the party?

Dan: My father, of course. We could hang out, eat a little food, drink a little wine-

Natalie: They serve wine?

Dan: Oh do they ever. Eat a little food, drink a little wine, relax, hang out, and maybe even shake hands with the heavyweight champion of the world.

Jeremy: Okay.

Dan: Better than okay-

Natalie: I've got some information for you on the championship bout.

Natalie unloads all the paperwork into Dan's arms.

Natalie: I've got backgrounds on Rivera and T.J. Clay.

Dan: I already know all about Rivera: fighting professionally for seventeen years, has successfully defended his title over the last six bouts-

Natalie: It's just a refresher, Danny.

Dan: I've been following this guy since I was a kid.

Natalie: And I'm just giving you some information.

Dan: I'm just saying I know all I need to know.

Natalie: And I'm just giving you some information. Plus, there's some info on T.J. Clay.

Jeremy: You know, the opponent?

Dan: I know who he is fighting. I am already prepared on Rivera. I just need to do a little more work on Clay, but I need to get a hold of my father and give him the good news.

Jeremy: Zippity-do-dah?

Dan: Zippity-eh.

"Natalie, Jeremy, and Danny."

The three turn to find Dana standing before them and holding a clipboard.

Dana: I've got some great news. This network has landed a live interview with Rivera and Clay.

Natalie: When?

Dana: This Friday night.

Dan: I've got even better news.

Dana: What could be better than this?

Dan: I've landed two tickets to the post-fight party. You know, the private party after the fight?

Jeremy: Thus the term, "post-fight party."

Dan: Mock me if you must, but there are a very limited number of tickets available to this event, and only V.I.P.'s are invited. So, to receive two tickets has to justify my status, not only as a sports personality, but as a true fan of this sport.

Dana: You are certainly excited over this party.

Natalie: Danny's taking his father.

Dan: I am taking my father.

Dana: Good for you, Danny.

Jeremy: Where is the interview?

Dana: Friday night, live in our studio. Danny, I need you to prepare some questions-

Dan: You mean-

Dana: Yes, you are doing the interview.

Dan pumps his fist.

Dana: Natalie, I need you to produce this interview. We're going to make it an hour-long special, so we're going to need-

Natalie: Background pieces, interviews with trainers and the sort, and have a talk with the fight promoter.

Dana: Myself and Isaac are meeting with the promoter tomorrow to discuss some minute details over the interview. Natalie, I'm going to need you there. This is a huge victory for us.

Jeremy: Excuse me, but aren't we already airing the championship fight?

Dana: Yes.

Jeremy: How can it be a huge victory to interview the fighters when we are already showing their match?

Dana: Yes... well... Natalie.

Natalie: It helps promote the fight.

Dana: Yes, it helps promote the fight.

Jeremy: And showing five commercials an hour promoting the fight isn't already doing enough?

Dana: Jeremy, you're turning this into a real downer.

Jeremy: I'm just trying to give an accurate perspective on the magnitude of this so-called victory.

Dan: Jeremy's right. The magnitude of this interview is only eclipsed by one other thing.

Jeremy: Yes, the fight itself.

Dan: No, the fact I received two tickets to the post-fight party.

Dana: Danny-

Isaac enters the newsroom.

Isaac: Dana, Natalie? Oh good, you're all together.

Isaac walks over to the group.

Isaac: I'm sure you're telling everybody the good news.

Dana: Yes, I am.

Natalie: But Jeremy is trying to kill the excitement.

Jeremy: I am not. I think you're blowing this interview thing out of proportion.

Isaac: Jeremy may be right.

Jeremy: Thank you, Isaac.

Isaac: But we need to be excited about anything that has to do with this match. This fight is going to be huge.

Dana: Thank you, Isaac.

Natalie: This is the biggest thing this network's aired since...

Dan: Since we last aired a championship fight?

Isaac: How are you doing, Danny?

Dan: Couldn't be better. Zippity-do-dah, Isaac.

Isaac: (to Dana) Is there something wrong with him?

Dana: Danny received his two tickets to the post-fight party.

Dan: Two of a very limited number of tickets.

Isaac stares at Dan.

Isaac: Okay.

Dan: Now before you start jockeying for position on my extra ticket, Isaac, the ticket is already reserved for somebody else.

Isaac: Good.

Dan: It's reserved for my father.

Isaac: Does it look like I asked?

Dan: I just thought you would like to know.

Isaac: Okay.

Dan: I've got to go call my father.

Isaac: Please do.

Dan: Zippity-do-dah.

Isaac: Would you stop that.

Dan leaves the group and heads for his office while singing his song.

Dana: What's up, Isaac?

Isaac: Rob Williamson has asked for us to move up the meeting.

Dana: To when?

Isaac: From tomorrow to this afternoon.

Dana checks her notes.

Dana: I can make arrangements. We'll have Sarah make some adjustments in order for Natalie to be present.

Isaac: Good.

Natalie: And if Rob Williamson is already going to be here, I could get an interview on tape with him.

Isaac: Who do you have available?

Natalie: We could probably have Danny, or even Bobbi conduct the interview.

Isaac: Have Bobbi put it together.

Natalie: Great. I'll get right on it.

Natalie briskly exits the room.

Jeremy: I'll check with Sarah and see what I can pickup to lighten Natalie's load.

Isaac: Good. You do that.

Suddenly, Dana and Isaac find themselves to be the only ones remaining in the group.

Dana: We're not being overly excited about this interview are we, Isaac?

Isaac: No. We need to be excited over anything which can improve the network's image.

Dana: Then why does something not feel right?

Isaac: They need to sell tickets and we need to get ratings.

Dana: The feeling of desperation?

Isaac: It's the pressure of having to succeed.

Dana: You're feeling the pressure?

Isaac: Aren't you?

Dana: Well... no... I guess... I'm not letting it get to me.

Isaac: Good.

Isaac leaves Dana standing alone in the middle of the newsroom. Dana has the look of concern as she realizes the amount of pressure the network is under.

Dana: Zippity-do-dah.

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