| Akoma |
-----
Dan walks into JoAnne's office.
Dan: The editing machine is working, but it seems to be slowly working.
Dan looks around the empty room.
Dan: Hello?
Dan takes a second look around the room to make sure JoAnne isn't hiding in her office. His eyes are drawn to the floor where several open gifts sit inside their boxes. He walks over to take a peek at the packages. Before taking a closer look, he looks around the room to make sure no one is watching or coming to interrupt his investigation. Once Dan feels he is truly alone, he crouches down to take a closer look.
Dan: I wonder if any of these gifts are for me.
Dan notices a small box at the bottom of the pile. He reaches down, picks it up, carefully examines it, and opens it. A brand new watch gleams inside its shiny case. Discovering it is a woman's watch, Dan sets it down.
Next, Dan pulls out a plaid winter scarf. He examines it and is pleased with the material's high thread count and quality feel. Dan wraps the scarf around his neck.
The third package Dan reveals is perfume. He pops off the cap and takes a sniff of the sprayer. In order to better detect the scent, he squirts the perfume into the inside of the cap. After taking another sniff, he is very pleased with the results.
Moving onto the next package, Dan is surprised. He reaches inside the box and uses his index fingers to gently pull out the gift. Dan pulls out a piece of lingerie. He carefully holds it by its straps and examines the silky, purple garment. Dan stands up in order to hold it closer to the light, and he discovers the lingerie is also fairly transparent.
"It doesn't go with the scarf."
Dan turns to find JoAnne standing in her doorway. Dan seems more surprised to find the lingerie than to be discovered.
JoAnne: Plus, it isn't in your size.
Dan: It's purple.
JoAnne: It's lilac.
Dan: Yeah. You received this as a gift?
JoAnne walks toward Dan.
JoAnne: Also, the scarf you're wearing. Plus, I can tell you tried out the perfume.
Dan: This is some present. When-
JoAnne: They're from the office holiday party. I missed the party because we were at your parents' house.
Dan: I remember. These are from your coworkers?
JoAnne: They're better than fruit cake or some dancing reindeer. By the way, I also received a fruit basket. I know how you like apples, and there are plenty-
Dan: You received this?
JoAnne finally takes her lingerie away from Dan.
JoAnne: Yes.
Dan: Somebody gave you lingerie?
JoAnne: No, its a grease rag for when I change my oil.
Dan: One of your girlfriends gave this to you, right?
JoAnne: A friend asked what I wanted for Christmas, and I told him-
Dan: A guy gave this to you?
JoAnne: Yes. Would you care to know which guy?
Dan: It doesn't matter which guy. Okay, it does matter, but what really matters is somebody felt they knew you well enough to give you a piece of lingerie.
JoAnne: I showed him a catalog and asked him to get it for me. I even gave him my size. I wasn't expecting him to get it for me, but he really surprised me.
Dan can't believe what he is hearing.
Dan: You have to give it back. It's an inappropriate gift to be given by a friend. A friend gives you a scarf or a fruit basket or something which isn't so... so... transparent. You need to take it back to its place of purchase and exchange it for something with more redeeming qualities.
JoAnne: More redeeming qualities?
Dan: This item is totally inappropriate for the workplace. It sends the wrong message.
JoAnne: What message is that?
Dan thinks his words quickly and carefully.
Dan: That... you... are not respected-
JoAnne: I'm a dirty, little girl.
Dan: Shhhhhhh. Don't say that, but it sends the wrong message that you may not be thought of in a strictly professional manner.
JoAnne: Oh, really?
Dan: Trust me. Guys aren't thinking about changing oil or hanging out to watch the ball game when they send you a gift like that.
JoAnne: Even though I made the request-
Dan: And why are you requesting this from a guy? If a woman asks for lingerie, she is sending the guy a message. I know from experience if a guy sends you lingerie, he is also sending a strong message. The only way to prevent these messages from getting though is to either not request it or return this gift. There are no other options.
JoAnne: There is the option of keeping it.
Dan: Jo, I understand how you like the flirting and attention, but a man doesn't just send you lingerie without ulterior motives.
JoAnne: Obviously, you are an expert at proper gift giving.
Dan: I'm an expert at being a guy. You cannot accept this gift.
JoAnne: You've done something like this before?
Dan: It's an inappropriate gift from someone other than a husband or fiancé or boyfriend. You need to return this gift.
JoAnne: Right; whatever you say.
Dan: Great. I've got to go work on the show, and I almost forgot - the editing machine is working, but its running a little slower than usual. I'll see you later.
Dan gives JoAnne a kiss on the cheek and leaves the office. He momentarily returns when he pokes his head back inside.
Dan: You're returning the lingerie, right?
JoAnne: Not a chance.
-----
Jeremy stands inside the conference room. Chris, Will, and Dave are seated and paying attention to Jeremy as he asks for their opinions.
Jeremy: So for tomorrow night, should I go with a tie or no tie?
Jeremy holds onto and strokes his necktie.
Dave: I'd go with a tie.
Chris: It's makes you look professional.
Will: It'll make you look uptight.
Jeremy: Professional and uptight are certainly the impressions I want to make on a first date.
Kim enters the room and carries her clipboard with the latest scores.
Jeremy: Kim?! What's news?
Kim: There are reports the missions and shelters are overflowing with homeless, so some are resorting to defecating on the streets so they can be arrested and spend the night in a dry, warm jail cell.
Jeremy: Okay. I was referring to sports, in general.
Kim: Not much.
Jeremy: I need a woman's perspective on something.
Kim: It's about your date tomorrow night.
Jeremy: How did you know-
Kim: I overheard your conversation with Dan and Casey.
Jeremy: Okay.
Kim: First, lose the tie.
Jeremy: Okay, lose the tie. I need your perspective about a first date. Is it still customary for men to pick up the check?
Kim: It all depends on where we are going.
Jeremy: A coffee house.
Kim: If that's all you had planned for the evening, I would say, "yes" because you might be drinking coffee alone.
Jeremy: I see.
Elliott enters the room and checks off a number of items on his clipboard.
Elliott: What's up?
Chris: Jeremy's meeting a friend tomorrow night.
Elliott: I thought it was a blind date.
Kim: What's her name?
Jeremy: Jogger942.
Will: You know a woman named, "Jogger 9-4-2"?
Jeremy: It's her screen name.
Elliott: You're dating someone you met through the internet?
Jeremy: Yes, I am meeting an acquaintance I met through an internet service. I wouldn't officially call it a date-
Kim: You referred to it as a "date."
Jeremy: Only to avoid any possible confusion.
Kim: (sarcastic) That cleared things up.
Elliott walks to and leans over Jeremy.
Elliott: Does she have pictures?
Jeremy: Yes, she does have pictures... er, fully clothed, of course.
Elliott moves over to the side of the room.
Kim: What's her real name?
Jeremy: Heather.
Isaac enters the room.
Isaac: It's good to see I'm not the only one early for the rundown.
Elliott: We're discussing Jeremy's internet date.
Isaac stops in his tracks.
Isaac: I'm probably here too early.
Dana and Natalie burst into the room.
Dana: Fabulous. Everybody is here.
Natalie: Tina and Danny are missing.
Dana: They need to be here in two minutes.
Isaac, Natalie, and Dana take their respective seats. The rest of the group each stare at Dana and privately question her change of clothes into her current loose-fitting ensemble.
Dana: I see I have everybody's undivided attention.
Natalie: I think you're the center of attention.
Dana looks at her attire.
Elliott: Dana fell in some slush.
Dana lets out an uncomfortable laugh.
Dana: Yeah, something like that. This is what I was afforded to wear.
Natalie: Casey offered to pick up some clothes.
Will: Those look like they would fit Casey.
Dana: Casey didn't get these. He's just hanging around through the end of the show. Natalie picked these up from wardrobe.
Natalie: It's all they could afford.
Kim: Casey's hanging around through the end of the show?
Dana smiles at the opportunity to share with the rest of the room.
Dana: Yes, Casey is here to do something. This is an extremely important night regarding us.
Elliott: How does it regard to us?
Dana: Tonight involves Casey and me. Casey's here to propose to me.
Everyone cheers and congratulates Dana.
Natalie: Hold it!
The room calms down.
Natalie: Dana's intuition is telling her Casey is here to propose to her.
The excitement dies down as the group realizes the reliability of Dana's intuition.
Dana: What?! You trust Natalie's judgment over mine?
The group looks around, nods, and generally agrees with the question.
Dana: Never mind.
Tina enters the room.
Tina: Hi. I just got off the phone with the Seahawks' general manager. It looks like the contract extension is coming to fruition. Have I missed out on anything?
Isaac: Jeremy's going on a date, Dana thinks Casey is going to propose to her, and I wish I was in Danny's position over the previous five minutes.
With a look of angst, Dan bursts into the room.
Dan: Okay, people. I have an urgent matter. I need all of you to spend some time and find out who is giving lingerie to my girlfriend.
Isaac: I've changed my mind about wanting to be in Danny's position.
