A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Garden |
Written by:
Jim Hamilton
Estimated Run Time:
22:00
Disclaimer
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Dana is sitting alone at a table inside Anthony's restaurant. She has a glass of wine with her lunch, and a partially read books sits closed next to her plate.
Her quiet lunch is interrupted when Casey sits at the table.
Casey: Hey.
Dana: Hey, Casey. I'm surprised to see you here. Would you care for some lunch?
Casey: Where's my stuff?
Dana is taken aback by Casey's assertiveness.
Dana: I'm having lunch here.
Casey tones it down.
Casey: Oh. I'm sorry. What are you having there?
Dana: I'm having a glass of white wine with the grilled catfish.
Casey: Looks good. What's your side dish?
Dana: A vegetable mix of baby carrots, squash, cauliflower, and broccoli.
Casey: A vegetable medley.
Dana: Yes.
Casey: Okay.
Dana: See? Isn't that better?
Casey: Much. Say, here's a question for you: where's my stuff?
Dana: Okay, fine. And by stuff, to what are you referring?
Dana continues eating her lunch.
Casey: There are a number of items, and I'm not rating them in order of importance. First, there's my baseball card collection. Second, there's my giant box of magic markers. Third, there's the award I received five years ago from the Arkansas Angler Association.
Dana: They're junk.
Casey: Dana, they're not junk. They are prized possessions. For instance, my baseball cards-
Dana: A small shoe box full of cards whose condition consists of bent corners, water rings from glasses, and unknown players.
Casey: Paul Zuvella is not an unknown player.
Dana: And I'm sure the value of his rookie card has skyrocketed since I threw out the five you previously owned.
Casey: Those were collector items.
Dana: Those were cards children wouldn't tape to their bicycle wheels. And don't get me started on your markers.
Casey: I've collected those over the years.
Dana: Yeah, and how often do you draw or color?
Casey: I find markers can be a valuable tool in the creative process.
Dana: Uh-huh.
Casey: And the award-
Dana: Your singing bass?
Casey: Yeah.
Dana: It's a singing bass.
Casey: It was given with good intentions.
Dana: Casey?
Casey: Yeah.
Dana: It's a singing bass.
Casey: Dana.
Dana: Why are we discussing this now? This is my quiet me time. I was having a peaceful lunch before my hectic afternoon starts.
Casey: It's not that busy of a sports day.
Dana: Which gives me the perfect opportunity to conduct several interviews.
Casey: For what positions?
Dana: Casey.
Casey: Still haven't found that perfect candidate, huh?
Dana: Did you check the attic?
Casey: The attic?
Dana: Yes.
Casey: You have an attic?
Dana: We have an attic.
Casey: So you're saying my stuff isn't in the trash.
Dana takes a sip of wine and wipes her mouth with her napkin.
Casey: Dana?
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Dan and Jeremy are walking down a busy New York sidewalk on the sunny, slightly chilly afternoon. Dan is dressed as if he is ready to go on-air. Jeremy carries a spiral notebook, but he is focused on other matters instead of the notes.
Jeremy: It's going to be crazy.
Dan: We've shot there before. It's only the Garden.
Jeremy: I'm making reference to tonight's party.
Dan: Jeremy, you've got to stop obsessing over this.
Jeremy stops walking.
Jeremy: I can do this.
Dan stops.
Dan: Forget about the party. We're shooting the feature about the Knicks.
Jeremy: Yes.
Dan: And we need to continue walking in order to get to the Garden.
The two continue their journey.
Dan: What's the timetable?
Jeremy checks his notes and then checks his watch.
Jeremy: We're meeting with the coach in ten minutes, the general manager in twenty-five, and finally some of the players after their walkthrough has concluded.
Dan: Great. We've got plenty of time - as long as we keep moving.
The two pick up their pace.
Jeremy: Since we have a plethora of time, as we walk to our destination, we can discuss-
Dan: Jeremy, we're not going to discuss the party.
Jeremy: I need some advice.
Dan: You need to listen.
Jeremy: Okay.
Jeremy stops and Dan continues on.
Jeremy: Listen to what?
Dan: You haven't been listening!
Dan shakes his head as he walks on. Jeremy has to run in order to catch Dan.
Jeremy: Dan?
Dan: You haven't been listening to a word we've told you.
Jeremy: I have.
Dan: You were at a party a week ago. The workday was done, and a woman - forget she's a colleague - a very beautiful woman asked you to dance with her. What did you do?
Jeremy: My legs really were cramping that evening.
Dan: Yeah, right. She even offered to massage your legs.
Jeremy: The condition was caused by dehydration. All I needed was some water to build up my fluids.
Dan: She offered to put her hands on your body.
Jeremy: Yeah.
Dan: She likes you.
Jeremy: I'm one of her producers!
Dan: Being my producer is not a valid reason for me to like you.
Jeremy: Dan.
Dan: Right now, we're working on the Knicks. We'll discuss this later.
The two reach the outside of a building. Before they enter, Dan hears his name being called out. This isn't a case of Dan's ego being stroked by another "Sports Night" fan wanting an autograph; this is a case of hearing a voice that hadn't been heard in years.
Dan searches for the familiar voice inside the crowd.
"Dan Rydell!"
Dan finds the familiar face behind the voice.
Dan: Rob?
Dan and Rob meet and shake hands.
Rob: It's good to see you, Dan.
Dan: It's been years. How are you doing?
Rob: Great.
Dan: How's Helen and the kids?
Rob: Helen's wonderful, and the kids are out of college now.
Dan: College? They weren't even in high school the last time I saw-
Dan notices Jeremy standing next to him.
Dan: Oh, I'm sorry. Rob, this is Jeremy Goodwin, an associate producer with CSC.
Jeremy: Good to meet you.
Dan: Jeremy, this is Rob Landers. I used to work with him back in Chicago.
Jeremy and Rob shake hands.
Jeremy: You two go way back?
Rob: Dan worked under me when I was the sports director and lead sports anchor at our station in Chicago.
Dan: Yeah, that was before I went to Lone Star and CSC. So you've moved up since?
Rob: I'm still at the station.
Dan feels slightly foolish for assuming Rob had moved on to another job.
Dan: Great. Chicago is a great city to work, a great city to live.
Rob: Helen and I are here for something more.
Jeremy nudges Dan and points at his watch.
Dan: Jeremy and I are meeting the rest of the film crew to work on a feature.
Rob: I heard.
Dan: You heard? How did you hear?
Rob: I'm here in New York for an interview.
Dan: Of course. The Bulls are in town for tonight's game.
Rob: That's not my sole purpose for coming here. I'm having a different kind of interview: a job interview.
Dan: Wait. You're interviewing with CSC?
Rob: I'm meeting with Dana Whitaker later this afternoon. I'm interviewing for "Sports Night."
Dan is dumbfounded.
Dan: Really?
Rob: You sound surprised.
Dan: I am. I haven't seen you in years, and now you're here interviewing with my network. You've been in Chicago for how long?
Rob: Twenty-two years.
Dan: I'm surprised... you would leave Chicago and come here.
Rob: I believe one of your headhunters tracked me down.
Dan: Headhunters?
Rob: If I recall correctly, his name is Sam Donovan.
Dan: Sam?
Jeremy: Danny?
Dan: Uh, yeah. Listen, I've got to do this feature.
Rob: Sure. Could I give you the hotel number where we're staying?
Rob pulls out a pen and a business card. He writes the name of the hotel and the room number where he and his wife is staying. He hands it over to Dan.
Dan: Thanks. I'll be sure to call you... if I don't see you inside the building.
Rob: Fabulous. It would be great to work with you again, Dan. It's good seeing you again. Nice to meet you, Jeremy. Dan, we'll talk and maybe go out for dinner.
Dan: Sure.
Rob: Take care.
Dan and Rob shake hands, and Rob walks away. Dan stands in amazement and continues to hold the business card.
Jeremy: He sounds cordial.
Dan: Yeah. Yeah, he sounds cordial.
Wow. Rob Landers from Chicago.
Jeremy is distracted by a woman walking into the building.
Jeremy: Dan?
Dan continues to stare at the business card.
Dan: Yeah.
Jeremy: I believe I just saw Tricia Marino enter the building.
Dan: Hold on there, Jeremy. Tricia Marino?
Jeremy: Tricia Marino from Chicago's front office.
Dan: Let's see if we can get some comments from her.
Jeremy: Maybe she can comment on the state of their season and if they are happy with their current roster.
Dan: They're twenty games under five-hundred. I don't believe they are too happy with their current roster.
Jeremy: Yeah. Let's go. We've got to complete this and get back to the newsroom, so I can prepare this feature and finish the prep work for tonight's filming.
Dan: There's not much prep work in preparing to film a party, even if it's being hosted by the Yankees.
Jeremy: Plus, I need to be adequately hydrated.
Dan: Yeah, just so-
Jeremy: Just so my legs don't cramp up.
Dan: Yeah.
Jeremy begins to enter the building and spots Dan taking a final look at the business card before putting it inside his jacket pocket.
Jeremy: Ready?
Dan: Yeah. This is a coincidence, with Rob in town and you working tonight's party with Lorie.
Jeremy: How so?
Dan: We each may have a new dance partner.
The two finally enter the building.
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