Agonists and Underdogs

Written by:
Jim Hamilton

Estimated Run Time:



Natalie and Jeremy are walking through the newsroom. Natalie carries a video tape and walks like she is on a mission. Jeremy can only attempt to keep up with her.

Jeremy: (pleading) Please, Natalie. Let´s conduct ourselves like rational people.

Natalie: You wish to be rational?

Jeremy: Yes.

Natalie: First, you need to get over your "allusions of grandeur."

Jeremy: I believe the catchword you´re seeking is "illusions of grandeur" and not "allusions of grandeur."

Natalie: You should be the expert since you are the one experiencing illusions.

Jeremy: And I ask: what illusions?

Natalie: The illusion that you might possibly win my award.

Jeremy: Statistically speaking, each of us has a 1 in 5 chance of winning-

Natalie: Spoken by a man who isn't even taking the time to write down an acceptance speech. Also, your assumption is based on each of our pieces having equal merit.

Jeremy: And you, of course, feel your piece has more merit than the others.

Natalie: You bet your sweet, little, inferior nomination.

Jeremy: Now who´s experiencing the illusions?

Dana enters the newsroom while writing something down on her clipboard. Natalie blocks her progress in order to get the latest information.

Natalie: What´s the word?

Dana: There is no word of any kind, Natalie.

Natalie: If you don´t tell me, I´ll just find out from another source.

Dana: Another source will tell you the same thing I am telling you: there is nothing.

Dana points her pencil at Jeremy.

Dana: You are absolutely certain the facts were checked on this story.

Jeremy: If they are facts, then they wouldn´t need to be rechecked.

Dana: Jeremy, I am not in the mood-

Jeremy: I´m just saying... allegations have to be checked. We´ve established the facts.

Natalie: Have we lost our campus credentials?

Dana: Natalie? I´ve heard nothing. I haven´t received a single word from the school president, the athletic director, the assistant athletic director, and not even from a resident assistant. I haven´t received a single word.

Natalie: But you think it will be coming.

Dana: I´m certain it will be coming.

Dana quickly checks her clipboard.

Dana: Where´s Danny?

Natalie and Jeremy each immediately turn and point toward Dan´s office.


Inside Dan´s office, Casey rests on the couch while Dan sits at his desk and makes a meager attempt to do some work.

Casey: So you´re saying if I come back here, you won´t let me share this office.

Dan: In regards to having separate offices, some of the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

Casey: What advantages?

Dan: I enjoy the roominess.

Casey: That's one.

Dan: As much as I would love to rattle off a string of advantages, I have work to do.

Casey: You can only name one.

Dan: The thought of you working inside a refurbished closet would bring joy to my heart. That's two.

Dana quickly enters and is surprised to see Casey sitting on the couch.

Casey: Dana, please tell Danny that he´s going to have to share his office upon my return.

Dan: (to Casey) And who made you the office space proprietor?

Casey: I did.

Dana: Guys?

Dan: (ignoring Dana) I need to see a deed entitling you to this property.

Casey: Hey-

Dan: Without that, you´ll just have to settle for a refurbished janitor´s closet.

Dana: Guys?

Casey: Tell Danny-

Dana: Danny, if - and that´s a big if - Casey comes back to the network, you will have to share this office with him not only because you´ll be cramped, but this enclosed office will give you a direct path when you feel the urge to irritate Casey.

Dan: Points taken.

Dana: I´m expecting a phone call later today. I need to make sure I have all the facts.

Dan: Regarding the overzealous booster giving benefits to-

Dana: Yes.

Dan: Jeremy gathered the information and I created the story.

Dana: Don´t use the word ´create´.

Dan: ´Create´?

Dana: Yes.

Dan: ´Create,´ as in "I hope Dana doesn´t create a situation out of nothing."

Dana: Danny, when you say ´create,´ it almost sounds like ´made up´ or ´fictitious.´

Dan: I believe there are distinct meanings for those words. Therefore, I didn´t use them.

Dana: Jeremy gathered the information and you created a story from the information you were given.

Dan: I believe that is what I meant.

Casey: You could say Danny just read the TelePrompTer.

Dan: (pointing at Casey) Forget about sharing this office, my friend.


Elliott is walking down the corridor outside of the editing room. He carries a small stack of papers consisting of memos and the latest news off the wire. Elliott dispenses the papers as he walks by his coworkers.

Kim excitedly races up to Elliott.

Kim: What do you have for me?

Elliott: I´ve got the seating chart for the awards banquet.

Kim: It´s an awards ceremony with hors d´oruvre and drinks. A banquet would consist of a formal meal.

Elliott: I say one can make a formal meal of finger sandwiches.

Kim snatches the seating chart from Elliott´s hand. She pumps her fist as she reads the chart.

Kim: We´re seated near the front!

Elliott: I like our chances of winning.

Natalie joins the two.

Natalie: What´s up?

Kim: We´re seated near the front.

Kim hands Natalie the seating chart.

Elliott: Natalie, how many finger sandwiches would you have to eat in order to consider it a meal?

Natalie: I don´t know. Eighty?

Elliott: Never mind.

Elliott continues on his trek to dispense the papers.

Natalie: (to Kim) What´s Edmonds´ status for opening day?

Kim: He looks probable. Jennifer will be calling in her report any minute now.

Natalie: Great.

Natalie and Kim slowly head in opposite directions.

Kim: How are you feeling?

Natalie: I was feeling like a winner earlier.

Kim: But now?

Natalie: After seeing the seating chart, I feel like a big winner.


Dan is standing inside his office as Elliott enters and carries a piece of paper.

Elliott: This just came across the wire.

Elliott hands Dan the paper.

Dan: (examining the paper) What´s this?

Elliott: It´s the yearly release ranking the estimated values of pro sport franchises.

Dan: (sarcastic) As opposed to fast food franchises.

Elliott: A simple ´thank you´ would suffice.

Dan: Just glancing at this, the value of the Patriots have skyrocketed.

Elliott: A few Super Bowl victories can do that to a franchise.

Dan: I should have bought a percentage of that team.

Elliott: You had a chance to buy a part of the Patriots?

Dan: No, I´m just saying I should have bought a percentage.

Jeremy enters the office.

Jeremy: What´s up?

Elliott: Dan´s recalling dreams of owning a football team.

Jeremy: Ah.

Elliott turns to Dan.

Elliott: I´ll be working on the spring training wrap-up.

Dan: Okay. Thanks, Elliott. Thanks for grabbing this off the wire.

Elliott exits the office.

Jeremy: You wished to see me?

Dan: Yeah.

Jeremy: If it´s concerning the story, I´ve already received the third-degree from Dana.

Dan: It doesn´t have anything to do with the story. (sitting at his desk) Say, you wouldn´t know anything regarding tickets to tomorrow night´s award ceremony?

Jeremy: I am aware they are hard to come by. I hear they are going for a pretty penny on eBay.

Dan: I shouldn´t have to overpay for tickets; which also begs the question: how come I never had the opportunity to purchase an extra ticket in order to invite my date to this prestigious event?

Jeremy: Ah, you wanted to bring Jo.

Dan: And yet, you - Jeremy, my loyal friend - are able to invite a woman you barely know.

Jeremy: You´re referring to Lorie.

Dan: Sure.

Jeremy: She´s an on-air personality.

Dan: So she´s there to cover the event?

Jeremy: She´s there as my date.

Dan: Okay, which takes me back to my original question.

Jeremy: Maybe it has to do with the fact I was nominated and you-

Dan: Okay, leave now.

Jeremy quickly leaves after Dan is reminded of not earning a nomination. Dan gets up and walks over to his doorway in order to have another last word.

Dan: And I´m pulling for Natalie!

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