September 12, 2000
"La Forza del Destino" by Aaron Sorkin
"Quo Vadimus" by Aaron Sorkin
"Affairs" by Sary
"Post Quo Vadimus" by Meggars
"Sports Night Renaissance" by Justin Aucoin
Some of you may read this story and ask, "Where is Dana?"
Casey: (on air) ... as they welcome the Tigers into the House that Ruth Built this evening.
Dan: (on air) Excuse me, Casey, but Ruth didn't build the house this evening, did he?
Casey: (on air) No, Dan, and thank you for correcting my every mistake, no matter how small, oh, these many years.
Dan: (on air) What are friends for?
Casey: (on air) Annoying the hell outta you?
Dan: (on air) Exactly! Elsewhere in the A.L. East, the Blue Jays lead the Orioles in a rare day game, first baseman Carlos Delgado comes up with runners on the corners and muscles a Orlando Rojas pitch over the left field fence to give the Jays an 8 to 3 lead in the third inning. They go on to cruise to an 11 to 3 victory, giving David Wells another victory and handing Rojas his first loss of the season.
Casey: (on air): We'll switch gears when we come back and update you on the Knicks-Pistons playoff match-up at Madison Square Garden. Kelly Kirkpatrick is standing by and we hope you will be also. You're watching Sports Night on CSC, so stick around.
Dave: We're out.
Kim: Two minutes back.
Everyone on the set had just received the best news possible. Apparently, there was someone out there who needed a hole in the head. Sports Night, and all of Continental Corp., had been sold to a businessman named Calvin Trager, and he wanted to keep it. They were staying on the air. The mood in the control room was upbeat, but there was an odd silence. It was as if everyone was afraid to be the first to crack and start celebrating; there was still a show to be finished tonight. This had been a tough three months for the crew. Good news was a welcome relief in their desert of television network despair.
Then it began. Jeremy drummed his hands on the control desk. People shouted for joy; it was a pure sound of exuberance. Chris and Will high-fived. Elliott hugged Kim. Natalie jumped out of her chair and screamed,
Pursing his lips, Dan thought about it.
There was a pause as Natalie climbed on her swivel chair and started dancing.
Casey was touched. Making the gesture in response, he said quietly,
A manly handshake that meant so much was exchanged between the long time friends.
Dan: It's just, there were Laker Girls who were calling me. They wanted to know when Casey was coming out. They were all at Victoria's Secret trying things earlier 'cause they all wanted to be the one that you liked the best.
Casey: You have a pretty energetic fantasy life, don't you.
Dan: I keep busy.
Casey: And focused. But I've already worked in L.A.
Dan: Ah, yes. Local sports. What local sports do they have in Los Angeles?
Casey: They have the Los Angeles Lakers, they have the Los Angeles Clippers, they have the Los Angeles Dodgers, they have the Los Angeles Kings. They have UCLA, they have USC, they have Anaheim.
Dan: This is what I'm saying, it's a sports town. Plus--
Casey: Laker Girls?
Dan: You got your Laker Girls. You know where they are right now? They're all sitting around in high heels and cocktail dresses up at Hefner's place, watching us on TV tonight. We come on TV and they lean forward in anticipation, and of them--
Dan: What I'm saying is that we've have just disappointed and jilted hundreds of--
Casey: Laker Girls.
The eruption of euphoria coming from the control room levels down to a trickle, and the crew prepares to go back on air.
Dave: In 5, 4, 3, 2...
Dan: (on air) Welcome back. The New York Knicks hosted the Detroit Pistons earlier this evening in an exciting game. Kelly Kirkpatrick is at Madison Square Garden for interviews and post-game reactions. Kelly...
The red light over Camera 2 goes dim, signaling everyone they are off-air.
Casey: I heard Rebecca gave you her number.
Dan: From Natalie.
Casey: I assumed Rebecca gave it directly to you and not via the Hurley Postal Service.
Dan: Rebecca did, indeed, give me the number to her hotel room. (drops his head down)
Casey: Are you going to call her?
Casey: Why not?
Dan: I don't have her number anymore.
Casey: You don't have her number anymore.
Dan: I left it up in the green room.
Casey: In the green room. So a complete stranger could walk in and find a number thinking, "For a good time, call Rebecca at--"
Dan: No. I ripped it up and placed it in the trash.
Casey: Are you all right?
Dan: She wanted to have dinner tonight, and I told her it wasn't the best of nights.
Casey: Because of Continental Corp. being sold?
Dan: Beacuse I was going to L.A.
Dan: No. (pause) I don't know.
Casey: Listen, whatever decision you make, I support you, one-hundred percent.
We go back to the control room. Isaac is standing between the seated Jeremy and Natalie. Jeremy feels different forces coming in at once- like being hit with an explosion of guilt and embarassment on one side, and on the other side, being hit with a tidal wave of needing to settle his final affair. The pressure is too great for him to handle, and he turns to Isaac to resolve his final conflict.
Jeremy: (turning to face Isaac) Isaac, I would like to offer my sincerest apology.
Isaac: What the hell was going on in my office?
Jeremy: I went in to settle my affairs.
Isaac: On my desk?
Natalie: He was trying to settle his affairs.
Isaac: You discarded everything off my desk and you (points at Natalie) were on top of him. Imagine the scene if I walked in a minute later. This is a business, and we are professionals. This is not some college frat house or some bar where two drunken patrons meet for the first time. I can survive a stroke, I can survive a takeover, but the sight of two of my employees doing something like knockin' boots on my desk would have killed me instantly.
Natalie: It's something I always wanted to do.
Isaac: To kill me?
Natalie: To spontaneously knock some boots on a desk.
Isaac: (to Natalie) Don't you have a desk?
Natalie: You know, that's why you're the boss.
Jeremy: (quietly) I brought you back your tape dispenser.
Isaac: You had the good tape dispenser?
Isaac: I've had that desk for a while.
Jeremy: It's a good desk.
Natalie: And by the way, you might've knocked, Isaac.
Isaac: It's my office.
Jeremy: But hey, cheer up, everyone. Nothing happened between Natalie and myself. No boots of any style- cowboy, snakeskin, Italian, snow- were knocked. A tape dispenser was returned to its rightful owner, a mess of discarded desk accessories and papers was created, and cleaned up, may I remind you, in less than a minute, we were purchased by a new company, nobody was terminated, and we're still on the air.
Isaac: The show isn't over, yet, Jeremy.
Jeremy: (gulps) Right.
Dan: (on-air) Thank you, Rebecca, reporting live from Madison Square Garden. We'll be right back with more Sports Night after a few words from our sponsors.