Disclaimer

-----

Everyone is gathered in the newsroom. They are anticipating the final ball from Irv Wilson.

TV announcer: (on-air) And now the second half of the tenth frame. He's already won the championship, but now he's going for the record.

Everyone watches him release the final ball down the lane. The audience on television and everyone in the newsroom root as the ball spins and arcs toward the pins. The ball knocks the 1 pin, and the other nine tumble down. Everyone screams as Irv Wilson is surrounded and congratulated by his opponent, tournament officials, and a few fans.

Everyone in the newsroom begins to scatter.

Kim: Okay, Will! We're going to need graphics!

Will: Got it!

Chris: I'll prep for the audio.

Will and Chris leave the newsroom.

Natalie: We've got eight minutes. Somebody call the first team to the studio!

Elliott: I'm getting the latest update from the Kings and Timberwolves, and then I'll call for it.

Natalie: Great.

Natalie and Jeremy cross paths and nearly run over each other. They tone down their emotions for a moment and cautiously move around and head in opposite directions.

Natalie: Danny?!

Dan appears right beside Natalie.

Dan: Right here.

Natalie: We're going to have to cut the new teaser.

Lindsey: Natalie, they're coming to us in 2 minutes.

Natalie: Okay, we need to get the first team to the studio right now.

Lindsey: All right.

Lindsey runs out of the newsroom.

Dan: Is everything going all right, Natalie?

Natalie: Just peachy, Dan. Couldn't be better.

"First team to the studio, please. First team to the studio."

-----

Inside the control room, everyone scurries to their position. Natalie and Kim take the top positions at the control board, while Jeremy sits on the end. Chris, Will, and Dave are calling out various instructions and pushing buttons.

Bobbi is already seated at the anchor desk, and she is receiving some makeup touches from Alyson. Dan hurries to his chair.

Dan: This is why I love doing sports, right Alyson?

Alyson: Right.

Alyson finishes with Bobbi and begins to work on Dan.

Elliott approaches the anchor desk.

Elliott: You guys need copy? We're going live with it in less than a minute.

Dave: (over intercom) Dan, Bobbi? We're coming to you in thirty.

Elliott: Thirty seconds.

Dan: Elliott, this is why I love doing sports.

Elliott: Participating or reporting?

Dan: Reporting.

Elliott: Do you need copy?

Bobbi: Sharks-Avs in hockey, Nets-Pacers in basketball, then Wilson, right?

Elliott: You got it.

Dan: I thought I was doing the tease.

Elliott: Somebody needs to do it.

Bobbi: I got it.

Dan: You got it?

Bobbi: Yeah.

Alyson and Elliott leave the anchor desk.

-----

Inside the control room, Natalie calls out final instructions. Kim checks all the standbys. An empty seat separates Jeremy and Kim, and Jeremy pats the seat as Elliott approaches the control board.

Dave: Live in 5, 4, 3, 2...

Bobbi: (on-air) Coming up on "Sports Night": playoff action between the Sharks and Avalanche, and game 5 between the Pacers and Nets. If that wasn't enough, Irv Wilson does something that's never been done before. We'll have a live interview with the first professional player to bowl a 300 in his first championship game. All this, plus scores and highlights. "Sports Night" is coming your way in five minutes.

Dave: We're out.

Elliott: Live in 6.

Natalie: Great hustle everybody.

-----

Dan leans back in his anchor chair as Bobbi straightens her hard copy.

Dan: You handled that very well.

Bobbi: Thank you.

Dan: A very professional job.

Bobbi: It's a good thing that I'm a professional.

Dan: Yes, you are.

Bobbi: What is it, Dan?

Dan: I was wondering if you would be interested in doing a commercial.

Bobbi: For the network?

Dan: Yeah, for the show. The network has practically tagged me to do the project, but I think you deserve a chance to have a commercial focused on you.

Bobbi: I'll have to talk it over with Isaac.

Dan: Great. Be sure to mention that you really want to do the commercial.

Jeremy approaches the anchor desk.

Jeremy: Hey, guys. Dan, I should be receiving the P.R. packet tomorrow about the commercial.

Dan: Bobbi wants to do the commercial.

Jeremy: She does?

Dan: She's more than deserving. You saw how she did the teaser.

Jeremy: No offense, Bobbi, but it was only a twenty-second teaser.

Bobbi: No offense taken.

Dan: And you see how she did it? A few seconds to gather one's thoughts and speak them on the fly on live television. No copy whatsoever. This woman has ice water in her veins.

Jeremy: So you don't mind doing the commercial in conjunction with the Wisconsin Dairy Farmer Association?

Bobbi: What's the Wisconsin-

Dan: The very reputable organization which has purchased advertising time on the network. A high-class group of individuals which supplies... calcium and various nutrients in the products they offer.

Bobbi: You're going to find out about the commercial tomorrow, Jeremy?

Jeremy: I should receive a copy of the storyboard tomorrow.

Bobbi: And I can pass it onto Dan if I choose?

Jeremy: Sure.

Dan: Hey, didn't I already pass on it?

Bobbi: I thought you gave me the opportunity because I was deserving.

Dan: You're more than deserving.

Lindsey approaches the anchor desk.

Lindsey: Jeremy? Dana just called and said her T1 line you installed for her isn't working.

Jeremy: I didn't have it completely connected. It shouldn't be working until I get back out there.

Dan: Is that your gift to Dana?

Jeremy: Yeah. I thought I'd install it so she could have instant access to work and the internet.

Dan: Isn't that a bit illegal?

Jeremy: Only if I do it wrong. What did you get her, Dan?

Dan: I put together the baby crib.

Jeremy: I thought Casey did that.

Dan: Somebody had to supervise, tell Casey that he was doing it wrong, and help him put it together correctly.

Bobbi: What are you guys doing?

Jeremy: While Dana's out, we thought we could do something nice for her. Donate some of our time to help her out while she is recuperating in bed.

Dan: Or in the case when I saw her last, stuck upside down.

Bobbi: Has everybody done something?

Dan: I think Jeremy and I are the first ones to complete something... actually, I'm the first to complete something.

Jeremy: Lindsey? Tell Dana that I'll be able to finish the connection on Thursday. That's my next day off. Until then, she can still use her existing analog line to connect to everything.

Lindsey: I'll pass the message along.

Lindsey leaves the anchor desk.

Dan: One more thing, Jeremy. Is everything all right?

Jeremy: Yeah. Why?

Dan: I mean between you and Natalie.

Jeremy: Everything is fine.

Natalie: (over intercom) Nothing's wrong, Dan. You're miked, remember?

Dan reaches and pulls out his microphone.

Dan: Thanks, Natalie.

Natalie: (over intercom) You're welcome.

Jeremy: I've got to go.

Jeremy starts walking away from the anchor desk.

Dan: We'll talk later.

Jeremy: There's nothing to talk about.

Dan watches Jeremy walk into the control room.

-----

It is the following day as Sally walks into Sam's office.

Sally: Good afternoon, Sam.

Sam looks at Sally as she wears a loose fitting dress with a tight-fitting stretch wrap around her lower torso.

Sally sits in front of Sam's desk.

Sally: You don't mind if I have a seat?

Sam: You can sit on the floor if you like.

Sally: I would like to spend some time talking to you about a couple of things.

Sam opens his laptop and begins typing. Sally watches Sam type on the keyboard.

Sam: You were saying?

Sally: I wanted to talk with you.

Sam: I'm listening.

Sally: You look like your attention is diverted.

Sam stops typing and looks at Sally.

Sam: You mean this?

Sally: Please don't take this the wrong way, but some people may think you are being rude.

Sam: And some people don't.

Sally: Right.

Sam: And you don't think I'm being rude.

Sally: Most certainly not.

Sam continues typing.

Sam: A lot of people call this being efficient. I'll do this and listen to you. If for some reason, I don't catch everything you are saying, then I'll just say I was temporarily focused on my typing.

Sally: So we can talk?

Sam: You need to keep me engrossed. If not, I'll just pretend to listen and continue to type.

Sally: Okay.

Sam breaks a small smile.

Sally: I wanted to talk about "Sports Night."

Sam: What about it?

Sally: I hoped you noticed that in the weeks I was the executive producer, the show's ratings were up slightly compared with the month before. Now, that I'm back strictly doing the "West Coast Update," the ratings for "Sports Night" have gone down slightly.

Sam: Uh-hmm.

Sally: Now, I'm not saying that Natalie or Kim can't do the job. I'm also not saying that Dana doesn't do a splendid job. I just wanted to point out that the show's ratings increased while I was handling the responsibilities of both shows.

Sam: Uh-hmm.

Sally: And the ratings for "West Coast Update" has continued to remain steady.

Sam: Uh-hmm.

Sally: Are you listening to me?

Sam: Uh-hmm.

Sally: Sam?

Sam reaches down and opens a drawer. He flips through a few hanging folders and finally pulls out a folder. He opens it, takes out a few sheets and hands them to Sally.

Sam: What's on those sheets?

Sally examines the paper while Sam continues to flip through some more hanging folders.

Sally: It's the weekly ratings. It looks like the ratings from when I was producing "Sports Night."

Sam hands Sally a few more sheets.

Sam: Now what does that say?

Sally examines the sheets.

Sally: These are the ratings over the last couple of weeks. I already notice the difference in ratings, but why are you handing me these?

Sam: Did you take the time to look at the competition?

Sally starts looking at and comparing the sheets.

Sally: Nothing really jumps out at me.

Sam: Let me point something out, since you obviously know about these numbers. Do we aggressively program during the Super Bowl?

Sally: We offer specials, the three-hour preview-

Sam: During the actual Super Bowl- the five-hour time span between kickoff and the crowning of the champion.

Sally: What does this have to do about the ratings?

Sam: You see, any program we put on against the Super Bowl won't draw many viewers because they're watching the Super Bowl. During that five hour time period, ratings- and I'll put this in a way you'll better understand- suck. You'll notice there is a slight difference in the ratings most recently because we are going up against playoffs in the NBA and NHL. When you were leading the show, both regular seasons were still playing. We're going up against stiffer competition during the playoffs, so it should be natural to expect a small decline in the ratings over the past couple of weeks.

Sally: I see.

Sam: That's what I saw when I looked at the numbers.

Sally: But still, you have to give me credit for doing a tremendous job.

Sam: Sure.

Sally: And I was hoping that if you felt you needed a jolt in ratings, I would be happy to assist.

Sam: What would you be doing?

Sally: I would be producing the show.

Sam: Oh-kay.

Sally: You thought I would be doing something else?

Sam: To jolt the show?

Sally: Yes.

Sam smiles.

Sam: Yeah.

Sally: I don't think this is going very well.

Sam: It's going very well for me.

Sally: I was hoping I could receive some sort of acknowledgement of the job I did.

Sam: You did a good job.

Sally: Thank you.

Sally looks at Sam as he begins typing again.

Sam: Is that all you wanted?

Sally: Yes.

Sam: Okay.

Sally gets up from the chair.

Sam: How did you hurt your back?

Sally: I was practicing yoga.

Sam: That's too bad.

Sally: It will heal fairly soon.

Sam: I meant I thought you hurt it doing something else.

Sally: Like what?

Sam: Something else.

Sally: Okay.

Sam watches Sally slowly walk out of the office.

-----

Dan and Jeremy are walking through a park. Dan is wearing a t-shirt and blue jeans, while Jeremy carries a bunch of papers.

Dan: This script needs a little work.

Jeremy: I didn't write it.

Dan: You would think they would let me write it. I sound more natural when I write my own stuff.

Jeremy: Because you wrote it.

Dan: Right. At least this commercial is going to show the laid-back side of Dan Rydell.

Jeremy: Just remember to have fun with it.

Dan: Why did Bobbi turn this down?

Jeremy: She didn't want this image portrayed of herself. Since you've been with the network from its inception, your familiarity with the fans allows you to portray yourself has the hip, cool guy who just likes to chill and hang out with his homeys on his down time.

Dan stops walking and tries to rationalize what Jeremy said.

Dan: Chill and hang out with my homeys?

Jeremy: It's a phrase I can't pull off very well.

Dan: You certainly can't.

Jeremy: Good thing you didn't have me write the script.

The two continue walking as they come across two trailers. One is a production trailer, while the other is a plain brown trailer.

Dan: Is this a part of the new Jeremy Goodwin? Using hip jargon among other things.

Jeremy: What other things?

Dan: Like kissing women inside the coat room.

Jeremy: I don't want to talk about Natalie.

Dan: Come on, Jeremy. It looks like you may have some unresolved feelings for Natalie.

Jeremy: I have no feelings for Natalie whatsoever. Well, a few. Some, maybe. Okay, I regret I may have confused and manipulated the situation, but I didn't intend to mislead Natalie.

A few people appear around the trailers.

Dan: Are these people here to listen to the rest of your story?

Jeremy: No. Two of them are with the production team, and one of them is a representative for the W.D.F.A.

Dan: Which one is he?

Jeremy: Actually, she is the young lady in the business suit.

Dan: Oh. This commercial shoot shouldn't be so bad then.

The group approaches Jeremy and Dan.

Jeremy: Kenny and Phil? This is Dan Rydell. Dan? Kenny and Phil will be filming and controlling the lighting. Over here is Brittany Coughlin. Brittany is with the W.D.F.A. (leans over to Dan and begins whispering) She's the one who wrote the script.

Dan: Good to see everybody.

Dan shakes hands with Kenny and Phil. Kenny and Phil then begin setting up.

Dan: Hi, I'm Dan Rydell, and you certainly don't look like a typical dairy farmer.

Brittany: I'm just their representative, but thank you, Dan. It's nice to meet you.

Dan: You don't mind if I discuss some possible changes in the script?

Brittany: Certainly. In fact, I wanted to implement some changes myself.

Dan takes a copy of the script from Jeremy.

Dan: Great. Now on the line where I'm saying that it's a pretty day, I don't think I would use the word 'pretty.'

Dan starts pointing to the line in the script. The back of the brown trailer opens up.

Brittany: We can change that.

Jeremy: Dan?

Dan: Yeah?

Dan looks at Jeremy, who is pointing toward the open trailer. Dan looks inside the trailer and is immediately shocked.

Dan: What the hell is that?!

Jeremy: It looks like a cow.

Brittany: That's Wilhelmina. Come on, girl.

Jeremy: A big brown cow.

Wilhelmina walks down a trailer ramp and onto the park.

Dan: You can't possibly... I mean, you need to have certain permits to bring an animal like this into a public park. I'm sure you'd have to go through the Parks and Recreation Departments-

Brittany: We've got the permit right here. We can have Wilhelmina here for today only. It's a good thing the weather is cooperating with us.

Dan: It's a cow. You can't possibly believe that I can share screen time with a cow.

Brittany: Come on, Dan. It will be fun.

Brittany walks over and starts petting Wilhelmina.

Brittany: That's a good girl. Come on, let's meet Dan. She's a friendly cow.

Jeremy: I've never met a cow with a mean disposition.

Dan: Did you know about this?

Jeremy: About the cow?

Dan: No. Of course, the cow.

Jeremy: I had an inkling.

Dan: What?!

Jeremy: How else would I have gotten you to participate in the shoot?

Dan: By not having the cow.

Jeremy: You can call her Wilhelmina.

Dan: I'll call her hamburger.

Jeremy: I don't think it's a good idea to go into this with a bad attitude.

Dan: I love animals, I really do. But there has to be some sort of separation between the two of us.

Moo.

Dan: Moo back at you. And this shirt is not to be mistaken for cud.

The group starts walking through the park to their shoot location.